“ LET’S GET NEKKID! “

(It’s always easy to tell who the
BEST man is at a nude wedding.)

I have an idea. Now, before you say, “Oh my, there he goes again!”, hear me out. After all, our great country elected a president who told us we’d get ‘’Two for the price of one” (and a ‘Monica‘ thrown in the mix). We followed that up by next electing a president who promised to be, ‘’A uniter, not a divider”. Like I said, please hear me out.

We have a climate these days where someone can strap on a vest, laden with high explosives and detonate it amongst a crowd of innocent men, women, and children. All in the name of -- what’s it in the name of, again?

We’ll never catch all the bad guys simply by trying to search everyone who wants to board an airplane, a bus, or a train. So, I propose the following most obvious solution: Let’s all just get NEKKID! That’s right, you heard me. I said, NEKKID. As in your ‘birthday suit’. Just stop and think about it without first hyperventilating, dear people.

Everyone just LOVES the new craze of reality television shows. So, it just makes common sense to make the best of this genre that’s sweeping the country and the world. “When in Rome do as the Romans do”.

Think about it my fellow humans. What could be more ‘reality’ than ALL of humanity going Nekkid? Everywhere. Where could someone hide a vest packed with enough TNT explosive materials to send a group of people to utopia? Huge numbers of screeners at airports would no longer be required.

Just have each person walk through the turn-style gates and a simple, quick, ‘’Peek-A-Boo’’ would be all that was required to ascertain if someone was packin’ (explosives, I mean) and there would be no more long waiting in line!

I must admit, the thought of having to see all of my fellow humans in the flesh gives me some pause. However, it’s for a far greater cause. So, I think that behooves us, one and all, to suck it up (so to speak) and do your duty to all of mankind. End of suicide bombers!

Since we’ll no longer need those vast amount of human screeners, I propose that we take those soon unemployed and train them to become psychologists. Most surely, after seeing ME and some others, there will be a pressing demand for such help and guidance.

For the record, I can handle the looks towards me that say, “Wow TallPockets, you’ve really let yourself go!” It will be embarrassing, but hey, it could save lives! My own trips to a local shrink will be a good thing for me because I need a professional to tell me how to handle my reaction to others who surely will giggle my direction after seeing me stroll into a terminal or loading station buck NEKKID.

There’s a catch in my plan just to make things even. I will make it so that the shrinks also have to be NEKKID as they dispense their wonderful advice. For FREE. On the U.S.A. government. We subsidize all the major airlines by the billions now, so we might as well at least get some good results.

Who knows, maybe I’ll even meet MRS. TallPockets? (I’ll weed out the contenders by finding the ones who do NOT giggle).

Revealingly yours,

(Sometimes life ain’t pretty, folks!)

TallPockets - 2008